BOSNIAK WEDDING CUSTOMS IN SANDŽAK

Family and marriage have a special place in Muslim tradition, which is based on Qur'anic principles and tradition and which relies upon preserving the family as the basic cell of the society. Islam attaches a particular significance to the family, and therefore there are many customs in Bosniak-Muslim environments which are products of their affiliation to Islam and centuries-long Islamic influence. However, there are also many phenomena which deviate from Islamic course and tradition.

In Sandžak, weddings are a solemn ceremony which formalizes a marriage of two young people. Weddings are an occasion for gathering of parents and neighbors who mark the solemn ceremony in the spirit of joy and socializing. The wedding table is rich and abounds with traditional dishes prepared of meat, salads, cakes, fruits and various beverages. The wedding feast is often a means of boasting, pride and raising reputation, and hosts compete to better treat the guests.

In Sandžak, the wedding feast is a custom which accompanies almost every marriage. Over time, the course of the ceremony has been changing. In olden days, such a feast could be organized only by wealthy people, because wedding took place at home. In villages, weddings were typically organized under the tent and all the costs were borne by bridegroom's family. Nowadays weddings usually take place in restaurants and gifts are given in money, and therefore almost any family can afford the wedding. Until recently, only the bridegroom's guests attended the wedding, while now the bride's relatives are also present. Weddings are mostly the same, and many Islamic customs have been preserved, although many non-Islamic ones have sneaked in. Islam is not opposed to various parties, feasts, congratulations and festivities on the occasion of a within the limits of decency. Islam even recommends organizing a feast and a banquet on the occasion of a marriage and inviting friends and acquaintances.

In olden days, weddings in Sandžak used to be quite different from the present ones. Although there was some music and merriment, men and women did not get together, but had fun separately. Over time, boundaries have shifted. Several days before the wedding, the bridegroom sends invitations to the wedding. In general, the entire extended family is invited to the wedding. Depending on the bridegroom's family, the wedding proceeds with or without alcohol; guests typically inquire about it in advance, although it can also be assumed based on the choice of the restaurant where the wedding is schedules, i.e. whether the restaurant serves alcoholic beverages or not (there are many restaurants in Sandžak which do not serve alcohol). The newly-weds have a separate table which is nicely decorated and marked. After sharia wedding and wedding in the municipal building the newly-weds come to the wedding feast, after all the guests. They enter the restaurant accompanied by music and pass through the whole restaurant so that everybody can see them. At some weddings, the newly-weds are brought in by folk dancers dressed in folk costumes who dance around them. The newly-weds take their seats at the table and the feasts goes on. Musicians play various round dances and sing songs and guests dance to the music, men and women together. The waiter brings the wedding cake for the newly-weds, which they cut and feed each other. It is followed by the custom of the so-called ringing of the bride, when the brother-in-law gives the ring and appropriate gifts to the bride.

The act of reconciliation

When a girl marries without consulting her parents about it or, even worse, someone her parents are not satisfied with, secretly and without their knowledge, the bridegroom sends, to the girl's family, people who will ask them for “peace”, i.e. to reconcile with their daughter's decision and accept the son-in-law. Respectable and well-known people are chosen for this occasion. In this way the family is informed where their daughter got married. Sometimes, the girl's father makes peace immediately, and in rare situations he does not do it for years.